Essentials: How Humans Select & Keep Romantic Partners in the Short & Long Term | Dr. David Buss cover art
← Huberman Lab

Essentials: How Humans Select & Keep Romantic Partners in the Short & Long Term | Dr. David Buss

Oct 2, 2025 · 36 min

In this Huberman Lab Essentials episode, my guest is Dr. David Buss, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and a pioneer in the field of evolutionary psychology. We explore the science behind human mate selection in both short- and long-term relationships. We discuss universal traits valued in long-term partners along with key differences between women and men in what they prioritize when selecting a mate. We also discuss the darker aspects of mating behavior, such as deception, the evolutionary function of jealousy and the motivations behind stalking. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AGZ by AG1: https://drinkagz.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman Timestamps (0:00) David Buss (0:21) Mate Selection, Preferences & Competition (3:26) Desirable Qualities of Men & Women, Universal Traits for Long-Term Mates (4:38) Women’s Preferences; Men’s Preferences; Age Differences (8:58) Sponsor: LMNT (10:32) Mate Deception & Online Dating, Tool: Travel, Stress & Emotional Stability (13:41) Short- vs Long-Term Mates, Men vs Women Preferences (15:58) Sponsor: AGZ by AG1 (17:27) Jealousy, Mate Value Discrepancy, Vigilance to Violence (20:58) The Dark Triad, Sexual Harassment & Coercion (22:18) Stalking, Motivations & Outcomes (24:57) Sponsor: Function (26:38) Childhood Attachment Styles & Relationship Stability (27:43) Self-Assessment for Mate Value, Self-Esteem (31:20) Evolutionary Psychology & Neuroscience (32:05) David Buss’ Books; Acknowledgements Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Recall Sets —enrichment items —recommended —
Sign in to favorite

Listen — make it stick

0:00 / 36:00
Speed 1×⤢ Companion mode
React at the exact second

Moments

Sign in to comment on this exact moment.

Sign in to join

Loading the timeline…

Recall — what you keep

Recall Sets

+ Author a Recall Set

Loading your Recall Sets…

Enrich — the context around it

Enrichment

    Discuss — members in the know

    Episode discussion

    Members in the know

    Opening the room…